physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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