didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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