So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
