the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
