i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
