You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
