The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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