What a fucking waste of an outfit
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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