yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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