We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
