Swine flu. Run for my life!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
