I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
