drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
