Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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