I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
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My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
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I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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