dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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