just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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