She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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