What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
pop tarts are not kleenex
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
