In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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