I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
