Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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