I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so explain again why im purple
no
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
