Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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