Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
