She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
