My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
