How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
