When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
