dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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