I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
