Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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