Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
