I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
