I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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