I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
