Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
