Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize