What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
