If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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