OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
