I'm laying in your front yard are you home
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
