umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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