ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
