Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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