Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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