we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
