Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize