i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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