Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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