SEEEEXXX PLEASE
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
