Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
