i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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