What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I would fuck him just for his dog
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
