Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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