what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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