I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
