What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
