these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
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Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Drake has all the answers
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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