she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You ate ashes out of my bong
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize