I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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