All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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