No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
