just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
