chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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