you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
