It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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