If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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