I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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