I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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