I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening