Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I think a kid would responsible me up
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.