So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
