your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
