I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
