I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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