a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Pooping to opera.
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