So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
