those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
